a bit on the background
When I set out to make video poems, I had a bunch of idle video clips that I didn’t know what to do with, like the one of a spider catching a fly. I realized I could stylize these videos and make them look animated look. However, after the second video poem, my crush told me that she did not like it because the visuals did not relate to the poem. I had to abandon that idea, and I had to create visuals from scratch to enhance the poem. Why do some people have such power over us?
I make these poems for my youtube channel, so head over there, subscribe, watch my films, and do share them. That’s how you can support me. My Youtube channel is monetized, which means I earn from it to pay the bills, and the best way to support an artist is to watch their works, like it, share, comment, and donate if you have a spare shilling. Otherwise, it’s all free to enjoy!
Back to what I was saying about this poem, since late 2017, I’ve been learning CGI to improve visual effects in my science fiction films (by the way, you can see my films here, they are short films, but my Patrons have access my feature length films) so I have a bit of knowledge on creating digital art and 3D animations. I decided to use this to provide visuals for the poem.
other poems in the series
a bit about the theme
So, since I was making this from scratch, I decided to go a step further with the theme. I at first wanted to make ‘video art’, you know, those abstract videos which don’t make sense but are visually appealing? This, after all was a poem. I keep wondering if I can make a poem without using any words, just images, and maybe one time I’ll try it. I toyed with the idea for a while, but then I decided to go with something a little less abstract, that someone can watch and sort of get what they are seeing without thinking too much. The visuals however did not have to be a direct interpretation of the poem.
I thought of a fish swimming in a glass, I don’t know why that idea came to me, but I just thought it would be cute. The glass evolved into a wine glass, and now the poem took on a whole new meaning. This dude has to be hurting so much that he thinks the bottle is a solution.
Once I had this general concept in mind, I dived into Blender and begun to animate. I did not model everything from scratch. I instead borrowed models from other 3D artists, and these came already rigged. All I had to do was animate.
a learning process
I am the kind of artist who won’t put too much work on a project just for the love of it. I calculate the risks to determine if a piece of art is worth investing a long time on. Making 3D animation is a labor intensive process, and it would have been a very poor decision if I was to spend months on this piece only for it to end up on Youtube to get a handful of likes. That would have been a waste of time. I had to make the process meaningful to me.
Since I intend to use Blender a lot for my visual effects, I thought I would use this poem as a learning process. I had never worked with fluid or fire simulations, and this was the time to try it out. I made the fire quite easily. I wanted it to imitate a burning candle, sometimes it worked, other times it did not work so well and I had to use procedural flames. Water was a little harder, and I simply used the ocean modifier to imitate a lake.
I must say I’ve learned a bit, and it gives me more confidence to tackle demanding visual effects in my future films. By the way, I’m making one already, called “Love Clone”, or maybe I’ll call it “Clone, my love,” and I expect to finish it before the end of November. You can follow this blog or find me on twitter or facebook to get updates on it. But you will get better notification if you subscribe to my channel and hit the notification bell.
the poem
Glass of Dreams
this slow burning feeling
that you’ll never love me
drips from a bag of dreams
and leaves me gasping for air
i lie on the cold floor
staring at the moon
through broken window panes
thinking of you
to hurt myself
with memories
of us in a small boat
drifting on a calm lake
not a breeze stirs our love
with fantasies
of us spread on warm sands
listening to the sea
as it sings us the blues
fake memories
wild fantasies
I want to forget you
to wake up one morning
and you gone from my head
the wine helps for a while
wraps me in a warm hug
of a dark nothingness
but if I forget you
I’ll lose the pleasure
of torturing myself
the pain of loving you
will turn into the hell
of having nothing
to love
so I let you blossom
in the depths of my mind
and I fan the yearning
the hoping, the dreaming,
though it slow burns my heart
till all that’s left is ash.
Now that you are here, I have a small favor to ask. I regularly make science fiction short films and I’m looking for your support. It’s very difficult to make it as a filmmaker in Africa, where there is virtually no market to encourage big film investments, and so any dollar you can spare will go a long way into changing things. Please pledge on patreon.com/dilstories You only pay after I make the film, and you can stop payments at anytime. For other options, like donating via mobile money or PayPal, please go here dilmandila.com/donate